he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
