she woke up with a sticky ear
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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