Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
