I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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