she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Randomize
