quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
