just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
