So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
