I must be too annoying 4 u.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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