woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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