I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
