We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
