just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
