New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We are all done wearing pants today
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
