Got a toothbrush?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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