Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
