my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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