And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
