hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
