Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You are the jesus of drinking
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i think im in europe. pls send help
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
