youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
false alarm, still single
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