How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
