All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
