It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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