Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Can I color on your dick again?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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