absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
