I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
