Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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