dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
