This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I have so many feelings about this burrito
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
