I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
