But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I woke up under a house in Key West
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