i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
