he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
