Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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