Do you still have your period?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He felt like a one man threesome
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Even my vagina gasped.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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