every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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