My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
