went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
