Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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