ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
