This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
