Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
