Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
