im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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