Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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