so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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