wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just found a bag of teeth...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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