East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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