Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
