The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
