considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
