Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
