This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
