I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
