winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize