i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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