We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
