so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
