Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
