I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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