Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I deserve this hangover.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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