I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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